Someone I'd follow blind
by Anna974
Summary: After Hailey's confession that she would follow him blind, Jay can't deny the feelings he harbors for her anymore but puts some distance between them because she is dating Adam. Here they are at Molly's, putting everything on the table.


I stopped watching the show at the end of season 4 but I recently figured I would give it another chance and I've become obsessed with #Upstead. This is my first attempt at an Upstead fic which is far from perfect but I hope you'll enjoy it anyway!

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**SOMEONE I'D FOLLOW BLIND**

Sitting in one of Molly's booths across from her, Jay had been observing Hailey fidgeting with her Penzburg bottle for the past ten minutes. Not once had she looked up at him to strike a conversation and his concern had grown as the sombre look on her face intensified.

"Bad day?" He managed to mutter clumsily. He figured he had to start somewhere since her deafening silence was disquieting.

"Something like that." She responded mechanically. He took a sip of his own beer to gain some composure and in an attempt to encourage some conversation on her end, he said,

"It sucks not being able to solve a case, especially as it's been two in a row. But you shouldn't let it get to you like that. There's something as too much of empathy."

As he was legitimately trying to cheer her up, he put one hand on her shoulder to soothe her. She raised an eyebrow as she stopped her movements to stare coldly at his genuine gesture. Disconcerted, he pulled back slowly and grew quieter himself. This was definitely out of character from her.

"Are we good Jay?" After what conveyed the impression of an eternity, she finally straightened up, her hands in a clapping position. She gave him a grave look. Disoriented, not knowing where this conversation was heading, he chuckled and said,

"Yeah. Why wouldn't we be?" Again, she raised another eyebrow, clearly irritated. Saying he was having a hard time reading her emotions right now was an understatement. As if she wasn't aloof enough already.

"I don't know. A few weeks ago you told me we're always gonna be good and the next minute, I'm basically assigned to a new partner." She bluntly exposed, gauging his reaction. He frowned before replying,

"What are you talking about? It happens, no? When one of us is busy doing something else, you find a substitute for the time being. That's it."

"Two weeks of being busy without me. Wow, are you working undercover or something?" She exclaimed in disbelief. He heaved a sigh of irritation as the conversation got heated.

"Why are you reading so much into this?" He asked her, attempting to pacify the atmosphere between them. Fighting with Hailey was the last thing he wanted to do tonight.

"Our desks are pressed together so don't lie. You haven't been busier than usual. And _by the way_," she pursued dramatically, "Voight basically told me to sort out my problems with my boyfriends! Apparently they are disrupting our unit structure and it's ticking him off. So I'm kinda pissed off right now." She retreated back on the banquette, passed a hand through her hair that ended up lingering on the back of her neck. She was taking deep breaths, calming herself down.

"This is what's irking you? Voight making assumptions about your love life?" Jay let out a straight-up laugh, ignoring the death stare Hailey was tossing him.

"This isn't a joke Jay. I don't do drama, especially not in the workplace. Voight shouldn't have to make comments on my private life." Jay rightfully considered it was best to revert back to being supportive, nodding his head and taking a sip of his drink. He noticed she was agitated, something else obviously nagging her.

"Did you ask Voight to be assigned to Kim for the time being?" She blatantly demanded. Not expecting the change in the situation, he averted her gaze and dropped his head instantly. Actions spoke louder than words. She didn't really need any verbal confirmation and he didn't need her to confirm Voight had thrown him under the bus.

"Why?" She was desperate for a reasonable explanation to his odd behavior and their recent lack of interaction.

"Because of what you told me two weeks ago." He was now playing with his hands, refusing to look at her. He never saw her racking her brains as to what she could have possibly said to make him want to avoid her.

"Did I inadvertently say or do something inappropriate?" She questioned, curious as to what she may have done wrong. The unidentified motive of his sidelining rendered her more receptive and tranquil. She wanted to fix whatever had upsetted him.

"Why did you tell me you'd follow me blind?" He blurted out after a brief pause in their exchange. Hailey was looking out the window biting her nail when she swiftly turned back to look at him, baffled.

"Because it's the truth. I trust you." She answered frankly, her voice assertive. Seemed like he had pondered this question over and over for all this time and she couldn't comprehend why.

"Do you trust Adam more than you trust me?" He was met with silence and this time, he was the one not needing verbal confirmation.

"I don't understand what it has to do with our partnership." That collateral information to the tricky question gave him all the confidence he needed to finally admit what had been truly going on in his heart and mind.

"I'd follow you blind too, you know. But I guess not for the same reasons." Jay was prepared to put everything out in the open even if it meant putting their dynamic at risk. He just hoped she would always be good with him too, no matter the outcome of his divulgence.

"What do you mean?" She wondered, confusion written all over her face.

"After Erin left for New York, not only did I lost my partner but I also lost whom I thought was the love of my life. I didn't want any new partner and I promised myself I'd never date anyone from the office ever again." She knew Erin had been the trigger to the hole Jay had previously dug for himself. He had only started therapy to be a man worthy of her love and her leaving made him reevaluate everything to go downhill. She had really made a mess of his heart but eventually, he took the time and therapy it required to come out the other way. Hailey squeezed his hand, assuring him it was okay to confess more.

"And then you came in and I wasn't expecting for this partnership to turn into this great thing that we have going on now." His eyes were locked on hers and she just smiled at him, assenting to his statement.

"Hailey, you came to Intelligence with your fair share of issues and shady past but I admire you for being so collected and level-headed in any tough situation. You calm me. You stabilize me. You're reliable, brutally honest, you play by your own code and you've naturally stepped up for me every time. I am_ so _grateful for you and your friendship." Tears welled up in her eyes as she put her right hand on her heart and softened completely towards him. Putting his tangible feelings into words was a premiere and cast a light on the level of trust and closeness that transpired from their fellowship. She couldn't begin expressing words that would translate how touched she was by his acknowledgement of their bond.

"Then what is the problem?" She reverted to his recent avoidance and seemed even more puzzled now than before. If Jay was praising her this much, she wondered why he was putting all this effort into pushing her away.

"The problem is you've reduced all the emotional distance I have tried to put between us to ashes. You're nothing like Erin and yet, you're everything I didn't realize I needed. And my feelings for you have taken quite an unexpected turn. So if there's no more emotional distance with you on my end, considering how things stand between you and Adam, I attempted to put physical distance between us to try and silence my heart." Hailey froze as his friendship adulation unexpectedly converted to a love confession. Caught off guard, she didn't know how to process this new information. Panicking over her icy reaction and discomfort, he nervously added,

"After you just cornered me, I just thought I needed to be honest with you. I don't want you to feel more uncomfortable than I've already made you. This is my problem to fix." He offered reassurance.

"Did it work?" Still agape, she articulated the only correct form of interrogation her brain had allowed her to.

"Being away from you?" She nodded. "No." He replied simply. "And I know you're with Ruzek and I don't want to lose what we've worked so hard to build so like I already told you, this is my problem to fix."

"How, then?" Regaining some color and some control over her thoughts, she was intrigued as to how he was planning on "fixing" his feelings for her and started to fret he wouldn't want to work that closely to her anymore.

"By counting your faults or every bad habit that has me annoyed." She breathed out a sigh of relief. He then offered her a small smile that she returned. She was grateful he was trying to make light of their visible embarrassment.

"I am not _with_ Adam, you know." She didn't know why she felt the need to give him some insight on her relationship status. But she did and he shook his head as a way of disputing that assertion.

"Call it what you want. But do you really expect me to believe that after a few months of _having fun_," He mimicked the quotation marks, "there are no strings attached?" She was now the one shaking her head frantically and he replied by stressing his questionable look.

"Don't get me wrong, he is fun. He is charming, playful, funny-" As she started enumerating Adam's qualities, Jay cringed and his face hardened. "The point is, it is convenient for now. There's no long-term plan leading on from fun." He stared at her intently, trying to decipher the hidden message between the lines. She was spending a lot of time trying to convince him her and Ruzek weren't that serious therefore he couldn't help but cogitate whether or not he stood a chance with her.

"We shouldn't be having this conversation anyway." She ended up saying, finishing her beer.

"Tell me more about your long-term plan then." He insisted, leaning towards her, his forearms stretching on the pub table, pushing her empty bottle away. She flinched, putting her arms under avoiding any form of contact but she was determined to answer the question. He knew she was not easily intimidated.

"Someone hypersensitive, warm, caring, tough, spontaneous and with a little bit of a temper. A confidant. Someone I can run to safely at the end of the day, someone I can follow blind." His smirk turned into a grin as he realized what she was implying. For now, that would be more than enough. He reached for her left arm to pull out her hand from under the table. He took her hand in his and started rubbing the back of it tenderly. She was unsettled by his outburst of confidence but secretly delighted in their discreet exchange.

"Someone like me?" He mustered up the courage to inquire, his eyes immersed in hers. She pulled her hand back from his and briefly caressed his right cheek before adding,

"We'll see. Goodnight Jay." She reached for the ten dollar bill in her right pocket before throwing it on the table. She gave him one last lingering look and winked at him before taking off.


End file.
